Gratitude for the Plans I Didn't Make

This year I was asked to be part of a writing team for my church's Women's Ministries blog. I get to contribute, along with some amazing women and writers, three different times this year, and I'm honored to have been asked. Here is my first post:

November is the month we are reminded to be thankful. At the top of this year’s November list is my thankfulness that God’s plans far exceed anything I could dream up for myself. In short, I’m thankful for God’s sovereignty.

When Jon and I first got married, we had plans. I was teaching and Jon was a bicycle mechanic. We weren’t going to have kids for at least five years. We were going to travel the world. Open to missions, we assumed God was going to call us to use our talents serving in another country.

In the middle of my first year as a full time classroom teacher, I received an e-mail from my sister-in-law, Danielle. She and her husband, Dave, were spending their first year in Guayaquil, Ecuador. Danielle was teaching at an international school, and Dave was along for the ride. They were living our dream.

Danielle’s e-mail informed me that her school was in need of a 5th grade teacher for the following year and that I should really think about applying for the job. Jon and I immediately assumed this was our calling. God was going to use my teaching credential to get us into another culture, and Jon was going minister to the local people by fixing their bikes and riding with them.

Jon and I knew we shouldn’t get too excited yet, and that we needed to pray. We prayed together, and separately, for weeks until deciding that the next step was to apply for the job. We asked God to let us know if we were making the right decision, and to open and close doors, as we began down this road, as He saw fit.

About a month went by, and I was contacted by the principal of the school. He had filled the position, but he would keep my resume and information for future school years. Ok, God, you made that one clear. We’re not going. We get to stay in our comfort zone, I will continue teaching, and Jon will continue to wrench on bikes. Here.

Two months later I received another email from the principal. He unexpectedly had an opening available and wondered if I’d be interested in teaching 2^nd grade at his school? Jon and I were confused. Hadn’t God already told us no?

We prayed even more. We went through the necessary steps to proceed down the same road we thought we’d been steered off. After a handful of Skype dates, countless e-mails, and more prayer, I was hired. By the swiftly approaching summer, we were scheduled to move to a foreign country, barely speaking the native language, separated from most of our family and friends, and teach in a brand new school. Preparing for all the changes was an emotional bungee jump.

Next came the logistics: collecting paperwork, notarizing documents, getting blood tests, buying plane tickets, selling most of our belongings, packing, and finding a place to live during the interim phase between an expired rental agreement and our departure date.

Summer came and we were ready. We had turned in our keys and stored the few belongings we had left in my parents’ attic. As a married-for-almost-two-years couple we were living in my old room, under my parents’ roof. Waiting.

Four weeks before our scheduled flight to Ecuador, Jon and I had just returned from a dear friend’s wedding in Mexico City. We had both gotten rather sick at the end of our weeklong trip, blaming it on too many carnitas tacos. But we’d been home for a week and I still didn’t feel good. In fact, I started throwing up. Somehow I knew in my heart what the “problem” was, and tested my theory. I was right, and I was pregnant.

To put it simply, my boss told me not to come. His wife was informed of our situation and she told him to tell us we didn’t want to have our baby in Guayaquil. The decision was never ours to make. So… we were both unemployed, living at my parents’ house with one car and hardly any stuff. And I was pregnant.

Sometimes I wonder if Jon and I weren’t listening to God’s direction five years ago. Were we so set on our desired traveling lifestyle that we missed the “no” God was trying to tell us? Were we praying for what we wanted, instead of what He wanted, and assuming He was leading the way?

But my hopeful idea has more depth than that. Is it possible that sometimes God is simply trying to see just how far we will go for Him? We say we surrender all, and we will follow Him anywhere. But will we? Even if it leads us right back to where we started?

How this experience has strengthened our marriage and faith is immeasurable. A short list of God’s provisions in the confusing weeks following our unexpected news includes: Jon getting his job back; me getting a new, more local teaching job; finding an affordable and reliable car; the perfect apartment opening up the same week we found out we were staying…

And a short list of the opportunities which would have been impossible had we moved to South America: me mentoring a HUB group of teenage girls at ABC through their four years of high school, creating eternal bonds and relationships; Jon opening his own bike shop and becoming a well known influence in San Luis Obispo; me becoming a mother and spiritual teacher to two little girls who I love more than life.

My in-laws are still living our dream. But it’s not my dream anymore.

Jeremiah 29:11 – “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”