30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me #6:
If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
#1: Good health for all my family and friends. It's one of those things I didn't used to think about. But as I get older, I know more and more people, even my own age or younger, who have had cancer, struggled with diabetes, or whose precious little babies and children have been born with unimaginable & difficult conditions. I am beyond thankful for my family's current good health, and that my friends who have dealt with, or are dealing with, painful or scary diagnoses are getting the treatment they need. But one of my wishes would be the guarantee that those I love most would be healthy until the day they are done here.
#2: To be able to travel as often as I want, to any place I want, without cost being an issue. We travel a whole lot more than some, but when Jon and I discuss our wish list for future trips, I find myself wondering how we will fit it all into these short, fragile lives we live. A quote I found a while ago that describes my wanderlust perfectly: "I am in love with cities I've never been to and people I've never met." Another one, describing my thoughts on prioritizing travel into our budget: "Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer."
#3: This one's silly, but it is on every woman's wish list. To eat whatever the hell I want while still fitting into my clothes.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Happy Makers
30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me #5:
What are the five things that make you most happy right now?
Baking treats. The planning, the shopping, the execution of a delicious recipe, the anticipation as I wait to taste the finished product, Kealani helping me mix, eating half the batter/dough before the product is finished, the smell. All of these components make me happy. And the best part is being excited about later, when Jon comes home -- after dinner is served, cleared, and the girls are in bed, we get to enjoy a tasty treat together, relaxing in each others' company.
Reading. A fresh book, a digital edition on my Kindle, a magazine, it doesn't really matter. Letting my brain take time off from the reality of being a full time mom seven days a week is a vacation. It improves my memory, vocabulary, and writing skills. I grow attached to characters and stories so much so that when a book, or even worse a series, comes to an end, I have what I've heard referred to as a "book hangover"... it's the state of depression entered knowing it's all over and you're done hanging out with some of your newest, closest friends. Luckily I can go back to a favorite book any time I want and start all over again. Which is what I do.
Listening to my daughters laugh. There's not much to explain here. In general, a human being's laughter is a pleasant sound, 99% of the time. That sound is infinitely more enjoyable when it's coming from your children. Multiply that a few more times by infinity when they are laughing with each other.
Running. Specifically, racing long distances. If you'd have told me ten years ago that running would end up being my workout of choice and something that I actually enjoyed doing, let alone something I would get pretty proficient at, I'd have snorted my Wild Cherry Pepsi out of my nose all over your shirt. Running has become my reboot time. It has helped me lose baby weight, stay healthy, and gain energy needed to keep up with my young girls. I'm competitive by nature, and since running is a solo sport, it allows me to challenge and compete with myself in a way that I couldn't experience playing team sports. It's hard, and many days I just don't want to do it. But I have never regretted going for a run. I've only regretted not going.
Date night. Any time spent with Jon makes me happy. Family time is priceless, but there's something unique about the time I spend with him alone. Our conversation is different, because we're not filtering ourselves, or being interrupted. I am transported back to our dating days and instantly remember why I love being around him so much. Also why I want to continue being around him.
What are the five things that make you most happy right now?
Baking treats. The planning, the shopping, the execution of a delicious recipe, the anticipation as I wait to taste the finished product, Kealani helping me mix, eating half the batter/dough before the product is finished, the smell. All of these components make me happy. And the best part is being excited about later, when Jon comes home -- after dinner is served, cleared, and the girls are in bed, we get to enjoy a tasty treat together, relaxing in each others' company.
Reading. A fresh book, a digital edition on my Kindle, a magazine, it doesn't really matter. Letting my brain take time off from the reality of being a full time mom seven days a week is a vacation. It improves my memory, vocabulary, and writing skills. I grow attached to characters and stories so much so that when a book, or even worse a series, comes to an end, I have what I've heard referred to as a "book hangover"... it's the state of depression entered knowing it's all over and you're done hanging out with some of your newest, closest friends. Luckily I can go back to a favorite book any time I want and start all over again. Which is what I do.
Listening to my daughters laugh. There's not much to explain here. In general, a human being's laughter is a pleasant sound, 99% of the time. That sound is infinitely more enjoyable when it's coming from your children. Multiply that a few more times by infinity when they are laughing with each other.
Running. Specifically, racing long distances. If you'd have told me ten years ago that running would end up being my workout of choice and something that I actually enjoyed doing, let alone something I would get pretty proficient at, I'd have snorted my Wild Cherry Pepsi out of my nose all over your shirt. Running has become my reboot time. It has helped me lose baby weight, stay healthy, and gain energy needed to keep up with my young girls. I'm competitive by nature, and since running is a solo sport, it allows me to challenge and compete with myself in a way that I couldn't experience playing team sports. It's hard, and many days I just don't want to do it. But I have never regretted going for a run. I've only regretted not going.
Date night. Any time spent with Jon makes me happy. Family time is priceless, but there's something unique about the time I spend with him alone. Our conversation is different, because we're not filtering ourselves, or being interrupted. I am transported back to our dating days and instantly remember why I love being around him so much. Also why I want to continue being around him.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Sixteen-year-old Self
30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me #4:
List 10 things you would tell your 16-year-old self, if you could.
#1: Some of your truest, closest friends are your best friends right at this moment. Some of your closest friends right now will simply be acquaintances in adulthood. And a select few, you will never talk to again after graduation. It's ok. Priorities, commonalities, and people change. Distance and inconvenience will show you who those true friends are, because they'll still be there after college, marriage, and kids.
#2: No one is staring at that "huge" zit on your chin. You know why? First of all it's not as noticeable as you think (sidenote: applying half a bottle of concealer to it makes it more noticeable), and secondly, everyone else is too concerned about the zits on their own chins to give yours any thought.
#3: Mom and Dad don't really like you driving over the grade. Don't worry, in about 13 years you'll live in San Luis, and you'll get to drive it all the time.
#4: Being a girl, you find things about your physical appearance to demean and compare to others constantly. Try not to do this. You are in great shape. Your body is going to keep changing, so what you complain about now will go away, only to be replaced by something else. Focus on what you like about your physical self, but focus even more on what you love about your character.
#5: You think Leonardo DiCaprio is hot now? With his bowl cut? Just wait fifteen years.
#6: You get sad sometimes about not having a boyfriend when all your friends do, or not having a date to a dance or on Valentine's Day. It's truly not a big deal. Most people don't end up with the person they dated in high school (which a good thing). You'll fondly remember the crushes you had each year, but you'll be thankful that you didn't actually date them, and in turn give any of your valuable self away to those clueless, adolescent boys. (You're still friendly with many of them, most are great guys, but you're better off without them.) Those dances you went to with your best guy friends? So much more fun than going with a boyfriend -- no drama or hurt feelings.
#7: On that note, the one boyfriend you do have in high school will end up married to your best friend. And you're all still great friends!
#8: Be nice to other girls. You don't like drama and never will, but you're a teenage girl and there are things we girls just do. Don't talk about other females or put them down. Instead of competing all the time, try to be as friendly as you can. Give compliments on their appearances, talents, intelligence, sense of humor, athleticism or even schoolwork. It won't be expected. But it's a pretty amazing feeling to make someone else's day. Especially a fellow girl. You both win.
#9: Enjoy the competition and camaraderie you have with your teammates. Never again will you play in a league the way you do now, never will you play on teams consisting of athletes who all take your sports seriously and have as much talent (and that magic ingredient: youth) as they do. You will have fun dabbling in beer league softball, and when you're lucky you'll have enough people around to play beach volleyball. But it won't be the same. Don't take the games for granted, or more importantly, the relationships you're building with your teammates.
#10: Don't be terrified to make a fool of yourself. There's nothing more attractive than a confident woman. Don't be cocky, but if you trip, laugh. If your underwear is showing, laugh. If you say something idiotic, or even fart, in front of your crush, laugh. These "humiliating" experiences will not break you as a human being. If anything, they will add to your classiness and compassion when someone else experiences something embarrassing in front of you. When it does, help that other person laugh it off, too.
#11: (Because I couldn't just follow the rules and leave it at 10.) Listen to your mom and dad. You're in a weird transition phase. You're more of a responsible adult than a child, but you're still at home and your parents will always think of you as their kid. When they won't let you do certain things, make you check in often, and ask questions when you get home, it's because they care and because they love you. It's that simple. Humor them and be considerate. You will understand instantly when your daughters come along in ten years.
List 10 things you would tell your 16-year-old self, if you could.
#1: Some of your truest, closest friends are your best friends right at this moment. Some of your closest friends right now will simply be acquaintances in adulthood. And a select few, you will never talk to again after graduation. It's ok. Priorities, commonalities, and people change. Distance and inconvenience will show you who those true friends are, because they'll still be there after college, marriage, and kids.
#2: No one is staring at that "huge" zit on your chin. You know why? First of all it's not as noticeable as you think (sidenote: applying half a bottle of concealer to it makes it more noticeable), and secondly, everyone else is too concerned about the zits on their own chins to give yours any thought.
#3: Mom and Dad don't really like you driving over the grade. Don't worry, in about 13 years you'll live in San Luis, and you'll get to drive it all the time.
#4: Being a girl, you find things about your physical appearance to demean and compare to others constantly. Try not to do this. You are in great shape. Your body is going to keep changing, so what you complain about now will go away, only to be replaced by something else. Focus on what you like about your physical self, but focus even more on what you love about your character.
#5: You think Leonardo DiCaprio is hot now? With his bowl cut? Just wait fifteen years.
#6: You get sad sometimes about not having a boyfriend when all your friends do, or not having a date to a dance or on Valentine's Day. It's truly not a big deal. Most people don't end up with the person they dated in high school (which a good thing). You'll fondly remember the crushes you had each year, but you'll be thankful that you didn't actually date them, and in turn give any of your valuable self away to those clueless, adolescent boys. (You're still friendly with many of them, most are great guys, but you're better off without them.) Those dances you went to with your best guy friends? So much more fun than going with a boyfriend -- no drama or hurt feelings.
#7: On that note, the one boyfriend you do have in high school will end up married to your best friend. And you're all still great friends!
#8: Be nice to other girls. You don't like drama and never will, but you're a teenage girl and there are things we girls just do. Don't talk about other females or put them down. Instead of competing all the time, try to be as friendly as you can. Give compliments on their appearances, talents, intelligence, sense of humor, athleticism or even schoolwork. It won't be expected. But it's a pretty amazing feeling to make someone else's day. Especially a fellow girl. You both win.
#9: Enjoy the competition and camaraderie you have with your teammates. Never again will you play in a league the way you do now, never will you play on teams consisting of athletes who all take your sports seriously and have as much talent (and that magic ingredient: youth) as they do. You will have fun dabbling in beer league softball, and when you're lucky you'll have enough people around to play beach volleyball. But it won't be the same. Don't take the games for granted, or more importantly, the relationships you're building with your teammates.
#10: Don't be terrified to make a fool of yourself. There's nothing more attractive than a confident woman. Don't be cocky, but if you trip, laugh. If your underwear is showing, laugh. If you say something idiotic, or even fart, in front of your crush, laugh. These "humiliating" experiences will not break you as a human being. If anything, they will add to your classiness and compassion when someone else experiences something embarrassing in front of you. When it does, help that other person laugh it off, too.
#11: (Because I couldn't just follow the rules and leave it at 10.) Listen to your mom and dad. You're in a weird transition phase. You're more of a responsible adult than a child, but you're still at home and your parents will always think of you as their kid. When they won't let you do certain things, make you check in often, and ask questions when you get home, it's because they care and because they love you. It's that simple. Humor them and be considerate. You will understand instantly when your daughters come along in ten years.
Friday, February 1, 2013
My Relationship With Jon
30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me #3:
Describe your relationship with your spouse.
I've written stories about how Jon and I met and when we got engaged. I like this prompt because instead of writing a description of an event, I can detail the connection I have with my husband.
Jon and I met when I was in love with someone else, and firmly believed that I was going to marry that someone else. Because of this, Jon's and my budding friendship was allowed to develop and flourish without any pressure couples may feel when they are knowingly dating. There came a time when we did everything together, from walking Jon's dog-sitting charge on Morro Strand to sitting in the Coldstone parking lot, to driving down Vine Street the week after Vine Street to look at the Christmas lights without the crowd. We did these things together because we loved being in each others' presence. We have similar personalities, the same sense of humor, and enjoy the same things. Being together was easy.
So when feelings actually started to thrive, beyond friendship, for both of us, we were already tried and true best friends.
I can tell Jon anything. Anything. He may laugh at me or think I'm ridiculous, but because of the respect and love he's shown me for the past 11 years, I'm not insecure, nor do I feel embarrassed when he gives me a hard time. I see myself better because of him and his view of me.
We respect and support each other. Getting married, having two kids, moving several times, and starting a business are all things that have to be done while respecting the other person. While it's easy to treat those closest to you the worst (knowing they're "stuck" with you), Jon and I have done our best to treat each other with the simple courtesy and politeness we would show strangers. We say "please" and "thank you". We do things for each other without being asked. We keep our home neat and respect each others' space and things, as one should do with any roommate.
Jon has backed me up through career decisions, whether it be taking a teaching job in a district with a two hour total commute time, or leaving the teaching profession altogether in order to be a homemaker and mom. I have backed him up in the same types of decisions: leaving certain jobs in the bicycle industry because he wasn't fulfilled, and ultimately starting his own shop so he can do things his own way. We believe in each other and want to see each other succeed. When one of us succeeds, our whole family does.
Jon is genuinely the person I want to spend my time with. We have regular date nights and even weekends (thanks to our own selfless and generous parents) and I look forward to them every single time. I get ready as though it's our first date (as long as the girls let me... sometimes it's an all day process, straightening my hair here, applying makeup there, getting dressed in my planned-out attire at the last minute), because I still want to "impress" him. He doesn't make me feel like I should, and tells me I'm beautiful whether it's on date night or after a sweaty 10 mile run, but I want to.
We both love to travel. Some people miss out on traveling and seeing the world because they get married too young, then life takes over, or they marry someone who isn't as interested as they are. Jon and I traveled a little, separately, before we got married, but since we both have the Travel Bug, we have enjoyed more trips together than apart (as well as with each of our girls... if anyone tells you you can't travel once you have kids, it's an excuse). Seeing new places for the first time together, or taking each other to see places we enjoyed before we met each other has formed another layer of kinship to our relationship.
It's become cliché to talk about "marrying your best friend". While I believe people who say they married their best friend believe they did, I think it's a phrase that's thrown around too casually. If you've only been dating for 3 months, he's not your best friend. If you still tell your girlfriends more than you tell him, he's not your best friend. If he makes you feel in any way insecure, or doesn't back you up in all situations, he's not your best friend.
Jon is undeniably my best friend, and he was long before we got married, not afterward. This is my twelfth year hanging out with him, and I look forward to the next twelve, and beyond.
Describe your relationship with your spouse.
I've written stories about how Jon and I met and when we got engaged. I like this prompt because instead of writing a description of an event, I can detail the connection I have with my husband.
Jon and I met when I was in love with someone else, and firmly believed that I was going to marry that someone else. Because of this, Jon's and my budding friendship was allowed to develop and flourish without any pressure couples may feel when they are knowingly dating. There came a time when we did everything together, from walking Jon's dog-sitting charge on Morro Strand to sitting in the Coldstone parking lot, to driving down Vine Street the week after Vine Street to look at the Christmas lights without the crowd. We did these things together because we loved being in each others' presence. We have similar personalities, the same sense of humor, and enjoy the same things. Being together was easy.
So when feelings actually started to thrive, beyond friendship, for both of us, we were already tried and true best friends.
I can tell Jon anything. Anything. He may laugh at me or think I'm ridiculous, but because of the respect and love he's shown me for the past 11 years, I'm not insecure, nor do I feel embarrassed when he gives me a hard time. I see myself better because of him and his view of me.
We respect and support each other. Getting married, having two kids, moving several times, and starting a business are all things that have to be done while respecting the other person. While it's easy to treat those closest to you the worst (knowing they're "stuck" with you), Jon and I have done our best to treat each other with the simple courtesy and politeness we would show strangers. We say "please" and "thank you". We do things for each other without being asked. We keep our home neat and respect each others' space and things, as one should do with any roommate.
Jon has backed me up through career decisions, whether it be taking a teaching job in a district with a two hour total commute time, or leaving the teaching profession altogether in order to be a homemaker and mom. I have backed him up in the same types of decisions: leaving certain jobs in the bicycle industry because he wasn't fulfilled, and ultimately starting his own shop so he can do things his own way. We believe in each other and want to see each other succeed. When one of us succeeds, our whole family does.
Jon is genuinely the person I want to spend my time with. We have regular date nights and even weekends (thanks to our own selfless and generous parents) and I look forward to them every single time. I get ready as though it's our first date (as long as the girls let me... sometimes it's an all day process, straightening my hair here, applying makeup there, getting dressed in my planned-out attire at the last minute), because I still want to "impress" him. He doesn't make me feel like I should, and tells me I'm beautiful whether it's on date night or after a sweaty 10 mile run, but I want to.
We both love to travel. Some people miss out on traveling and seeing the world because they get married too young, then life takes over, or they marry someone who isn't as interested as they are. Jon and I traveled a little, separately, before we got married, but since we both have the Travel Bug, we have enjoyed more trips together than apart (as well as with each of our girls... if anyone tells you you can't travel once you have kids, it's an excuse). Seeing new places for the first time together, or taking each other to see places we enjoyed before we met each other has formed another layer of kinship to our relationship.
It's become cliché to talk about "marrying your best friend". While I believe people who say they married their best friend believe they did, I think it's a phrase that's thrown around too casually. If you've only been dating for 3 months, he's not your best friend. If you still tell your girlfriends more than you tell him, he's not your best friend. If he makes you feel in any way insecure, or doesn't back you up in all situations, he's not your best friend.
Jon is undeniably my best friend, and he was long before we got married, not afterward. This is my twelfth year hanging out with him, and I look forward to the next twelve, and beyond.
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