Describe your relationship with your spouse.
I've written stories about how Jon and I met and when we got engaged. I like this prompt because instead of writing a description of an event, I can detail the connection I have with my husband.
Jon and I met when I was in love with someone else, and firmly believed that I was going to marry that someone else. Because of this, Jon's and my budding friendship was allowed to develop and flourish without any pressure couples may feel when they are knowingly dating. There came a time when we did everything together, from walking Jon's dog-sitting charge on Morro Strand to sitting in the Coldstone parking lot, to driving down Vine Street the week after Vine Street to look at the Christmas lights without the crowd. We did these things together because we loved being in each others' presence. We have similar personalities, the same sense of humor, and enjoy the same things. Being together was easy.
So when feelings actually started to thrive, beyond friendship, for both of us, we were already tried and true best friends.
I can tell Jon anything. Anything. He may laugh at me or think I'm ridiculous, but because of the respect and love he's shown me for the past 11 years, I'm not insecure, nor do I feel embarrassed when he gives me a hard time. I see myself better because of him and his view of me.
We respect and support each other. Getting married, having two kids, moving several times, and starting a business are all things that have to be done while respecting the other person. While it's easy to treat those closest to you the worst (knowing they're "stuck" with you), Jon and I have done our best to treat each other with the simple courtesy and politeness we would show strangers. We say "please" and "thank you". We do things for each other without being asked. We keep our home neat and respect each others' space and things, as one should do with any roommate.
Jon has backed me up through career decisions, whether it be taking a teaching job in a district with a two hour total commute time, or leaving the teaching profession altogether in order to be a homemaker and mom. I have backed him up in the same types of decisions: leaving certain jobs in the bicycle industry because he wasn't fulfilled, and ultimately starting his own shop so he can do things his own way. We believe in each other and want to see each other succeed. When one of us succeeds, our whole family does.
Jon is genuinely the person I want to spend my time with. We have regular date nights and even weekends (thanks to our own selfless and generous parents) and I look forward to them every single time. I get ready as though it's our first date (as long as the girls let me... sometimes it's an all day process, straightening my hair here, applying makeup there, getting dressed in my planned-out attire at the last minute), because I still want to "impress" him. He doesn't make me feel like I should, and tells me I'm beautiful whether it's on date night or after a sweaty 10 mile run, but I want to.
We both love to travel. Some people miss out on traveling and seeing the world because they get married too young, then life takes over, or they marry someone who isn't as interested as they are. Jon and I traveled a little, separately, before we got married, but since we both have the Travel Bug, we have enjoyed more trips together than apart (as well as with each of our girls... if anyone tells you you can't travel once you have kids, it's an excuse). Seeing new places for the first time together, or taking each other to see places we enjoyed before we met each other has formed another layer of kinship to our relationship.
It's become cliché to talk about "marrying your best friend". While I believe people who say they married their best friend believe they did, I think it's a phrase that's thrown around too casually. If you've only been dating for 3 months, he's not your best friend. If you still tell your girlfriends more than you tell him, he's not your best friend. If he makes you feel in any way insecure, or doesn't back you up in all situations, he's not your best friend.
Jon is undeniably my best friend, and he was long before we got married, not afterward. This is my twelfth year hanging out with him, and I look forward to the next twelve, and beyond.
No comments:
Post a Comment